Bapaku Heroku

Seronok juga menulis dalam bahasa ibunda kali ini.Mulai saat ini, aku nak tulis selang seli.Next post bahasa penjajah pula. Dan seterusnya....Lama juga x update blog,tapi disebabkan kalau berhenti menulis blog tidak akan dapat wang pencen,jadi lebih baik aku teruskan penaipan. Mula-mula aku nak ucapkan selamat hari bapa kepada bapaku,Mokhtar bin Abd Razak,bapa yang tenang,kacak lagi bergaya. Tak percaya tanya mak aku.Seingat aku,tak pernah sekali pun aku dipukul oleh bapaku,apa maknanya kawan-kawan? Maknanya aku anak yang baik,comel dan bergaya.Sebaliknya,aku yang pernah baling kertas kat bapa aku. Masa kecil dulu, atas alasan gagal mendapatkan "tape game street fighter", aku memperonyokkan kertas,diiringi tangisan bagai puteri,aku menguatkan lagi tangisan ke high note sambil membaling kertas tepat singgah di dahi bapaku.Secara automatik, elemen 3R seperti saranan Kartini DJ HotFM, respek,rilex dan respon dipraktikkan oleh bapaku sejurus kertas mencium dahinya.Dia hanya tersenyum.Fuh, bagus bapaku menggabungkan 3R menjadi satu,SENYUM. Penerbit 3R pun x sekreatif bapaku berjaya menggabungkan elemen ini tanpa sepatah haram perkataan pun.

Forward terus ketika aku darjah 6, hari pengunguman result UPSR,tahun 2000.Mengapa UPSR keluar cepat sangat? Aku mengharapkan pengumuman raya,rupanya UPSR yang keluar dulu. Ditemani bapaku yang kacak seperti anaknya,kami bergerak ke sekolah.Dalam kereta,tiba-tiba ada bau busuk menusuk kalbu hidungku. Tanpa was-was, itu adalah gas hasil cuak+takut+durian yang diterjemahkan dalam erti kata "kentut",dari badanku yang agak tembam ketika itu. Bapaku juga turut merasai seksa baunya, dan bertanya,"Pit kentut ke?", namun kerana malu, dengan pantas aku menidakkan sambil mencadangkan,"babah kot yang kentot!" Padahal dalam kereta hanya ada 2 manusia sahaja, kalau bukan bapaku, pastilah aku namun aku masih menipu dengan berkeyakinan bapaku akan percaya. Kalau sekarang,mungkin jawapan aku ialah,"ada kilang getah lah tepi jalan nie". Sampai di sekolah aku, Sekolah Kebangsaan Tambun,Ipoh,Perak. Lega. Terlepas dari azab bau gas perutku,aku ingat lagi peristiwa ini sebab sebagai catatan, itulah gas perosak paling busuk pernah dikilangkan dalam bentuk bungkusan sesuai untuk menjadi senjata biologi ketenteraan. Kalaulah Dato Najib tahu kekuatan toksik yang ada pada gas itu, pastinya berdas-das gas lagi akan dipesan oleh kerajaan dan pastinya aku senang untuk menunaikan permintaan itu.

Hela nafas ditarik, aku melangkah masuk dewan. Babah tunggu di luar sebab ibu-bapa tak dibenar masuk. Muncullah cikgu kelas aku yang namanya tidak lagi dalam ingatan,memegang mike mengumumkan."Tahniah sekolah kita ada 25 orang dapat 5A,saya akan umumkan satu persatu." Aku duduk di barisan hadapan sebab aku kelas A. Keputusan diumumkan, seperti diduga,sebaris yang duduk dengan aku semua melangkah ke depan,nama mereka diumumkan. Bayangkanlah perasaan aku ketika itu.Tinggal aku seorang saja di barisan hadapan, cuak,ingin rasanya cuak ini ditukarkan kepada beberapa ketul nyahtinja sambil terperap di dalam tandas,duduk dan menunggu nyahtinja seterusnya. Nama ke 19 dari 25."Muhammad Azmi Mokhtar,5A!", teriak guruku. Wah,seperti sirih pulang ke ganggang, seperti memenangi majoriti kerusi DUN Perak, hatiku berbunga-bunga kegembiraan. Otak ku terasa ringan, seperti di alihkan beban yang terpendam dianggarkan beratnya 50 gantang,aku bangun. Suara pertama kedengaran "YESSSS"!! Suara dari luar dewan berkumandang kegembiraan, itulah suara babah yang gagal menahan emosi nya dan menjerit yess sekuat hati dan diperhatikan ibu-bapa lain.

Kawan-kawanku ketawa. Dalam hatiku,"ini tak boleh jadi,babah telah menarik perhatian ramai,siapa pula nak beri perhatian pada aku?" Dalam hati "nak buat ke xnak,nak ke xnak,?". Akhirnya sambil berjalan menuju ke depan, aku menjerit "woowwwwwww", terus ketawa guru dan rakan-rakan. Misi berjaya,perhatian orang ramai kembali beralih pada aku. Berdiri megah, dengan perhatian yang baru dicuri dari babah.Seronok-seronok. Selesai semua, bapaku memelukku dan aku tanya babah "nape babah jerit kuat tadi?". "Pit,bila cikgu umum Muhammad Azmi bin Mokhtar,bukan ke dia ada sebut nama babah jugak,Mokhtar tu.So kirenye macam babah pon dapat 5A lah".Sampai sekarang aku ingat ayat tu, dan ayat itu jugak yang menguatkan semangat aku untuk terus belajar dan berjaya dalam hidup, sebab aku nak nama aku dan babah yang disatukan selama-lamanya ini akan sentiasa berjaya,Amin..MUHAMMAD AZMI BIN MOKHTAR,nama kami,hehe. Setakat ini dulu,ucapan hari bapa.Banyak lagi sebenarnya,tapi nantilah ye sebab di kala ini,Brazil telah menyamakan kedudukan 2-2 dengan USA, amat sukar untuk aku mengalihkan pandangan dari skrin TV sekarang.So, jumpa lagi!




P.S: MAK x ikot sebab mak kerja,babah je amek emergency leave dengan alasan anak sakit. Padahal kami sihat-sihat saje.Ini adalah kisah benar tapi mungkin olahannya agak pelik.Sekian~

"New addiction: Korean Dramas"

"My Girl", "Coffee Prince" and the current hit drama,"Boys over flowers" are just some of the dramas that hit Malaysia by storm. If I'm not mistaken, it started with "Winter Sonata", "All about Eve" and "Full House". I've soon become a die-hard fan of these funny and entertaining dramas. They have young talented actors and actresses, yet they are able to seize our emotions regardless language barriers. In most of the dramas, the heroines look more like the heroes' elder sisters. However, their comical facial expressions glue the viewers to their seats. They are not afraid to project their weirdest faces just to have their viewers grab that moment's feelings to their heart. Plus, I began to memorise some of the Korean songs and even some of the Korean phrases. This is awesome,right? Now i have a dream to fly to South Korea. I wouldn't dare to eat their food especially the squids. They eat it alive! The squids, though after cutting the parts, and the parts are still moving on the plate, they are able to hold it between their chopsticks and put it in their mouth! That is the one thing that I found a bit gross, sorry to say. I've tried some of the Korean foods including the kimchi. Frankly speaking, that would be my final time eating it. Believe it or not, I took only one tiny slice of cabbage and I'd had enough! Lastly, I'm looking forward to watching Full House 2,in August. Korean dramas,fighting~

There's been a death in the opposite house

Just by reading the title above, it evokes various emotions, right? Well, it is actually a title of a poem for the upper secondary students in Malaysia. I bet many students dislike this poem (me too). Mind you, it took me a disastrous month to comprehend only the first stanza for my SPM!I'm now working on a thesis that discards this poem to ever being taught in schools. I've received many feedbacks (agreeing with me) as to replace this poem with other better ones.

Emily Dickinson, as you are already informed, is a good poet who always expresses death in various ways through her poems. For Malaysians (and also other citizenships), death is something sensitive and very closely related to religions. To even start a class with 'death' as the subject is not a simple thing, believe me. I should thank my teacher to courageously finish teaching my friends and I this poem while there were some of us who were talking, eating, and even sleeping right in front of her desk! Some of my friends had faced death related with their beloved parents or siblings or closest friends.

In Malaysia, death is a very taboo subject to even talk about among us. Besides, having literature as only a minor subject in English, this poem is absolutely not appropriate and should be abolished. Therefore, another better poem with positive tones and emotions, should replace this poem.

What do you reckon? Should it be replaced? And if your answer is a 'Yes', what poem is to be taken as the replacement?

I passed down the white hall and through a door at the end. I saw the face of the interviewer, whom I had avoided coming in, look through me and take note of my presence. For god sake, I dislike this guy so much. We have met 2 years ago in the same room, during that time, he asked me a lot of weird questions. There had never been any necessity for me to answer that questions in a PRS registration day in my university. This guy is weird. Let me share with you an interview session on social skills, what on earth this is all about!! I was asked to give the funniest answer to every question in order to participate in the activity that will be held next month. Damn weird! A crazy club with a crazy president!
Interviewer (INT), My answer (MA)

INT : You know why you are here.But, don't you think we should talk about something different? I will ask you and you have to give me your opinion, OK?
MA : That is hard but I will try my best.
INT : What are you afraid of?
MA : I guess I'm afraid of anything having to do with an interview.
INT : Well then, I can see that. So, if man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
MA : It is obvious, the theory is totally wrong. But I believe there is a creator, the greatest of all, my god, the creator.
INT : Ever you wonder the speed of lighting would be if it didn't zigzag?
MA : Hmm, actually, never, since the established speed is tricky enough for electrical students,( laughing)
INT : If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
MA : I take this as a joke, but frankly, I have experienced that a lot.
INT : If deaf people go to court, is it still called a hearing?
MA : I have no idea, but, what kind of criminal that deaf people could do?
INT : If vegetarians eat vegtables, what do huminitarions eat?
MA : human.
INT : Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
MA : I don't know
INT : wHY doest'n tarzan have a beard?
MA : whatever he likes.
INT : last question, if olive oil is made of squeezing olives, then what are baby oil made from?

At this point, I just shook my head. Crazy guy! Crazy club!

My side!

The rain has cleared and it was a bright blustery day. Over breakfast, I decided to create my own blog.But, just when I thought my goals in sight,they shifted out of reach. I thought of politics, civil affairs, goverment, diplomacy, legistator, but Khairy the son-in-law of you-know-who, said "Bloggers ini adalah umpama monyet-monyet tanpa kawalan", I do agree, at least this guy is a millionaire overnight ( Thanks to his wife ). I shall need a while to ponder the answer to that question...He is the Count, he is young, a sports hero (FAM), it will go on until the end of this year! You know, I never talked to anyone like this, it wasn't up to me to judge him, or criticize his ways. So, the decision has been made. The title is "all about Azmi". Do you think the title is more suited to children than to adults? I imagined me making this journey day after day and year after year, and my hair starting to get grey (30 years from now), and I thought, well, I'll be just fine!!